God is calling

OPENING PRAYER

Let us pray,

From within and out the stillness of your creation, speak to us Lord and hear us as we speak to you from the depths of our despair to the heights of our joys.  We look to you for strength and comfort from the stillness of our souls that speak to you in prayer.  Hear our praises, thanksgivings and intercessions as we continually call upon you.   Help us to appreciate your glory, mercy and grace allowing your love to enter our hearts and enable us to give others just as you have forgiven us. Almighty God, be with us and in us.  Let us feel your love as you open our hearts to focus on your Word. 

SERMON

Good morning saints in Christ.

Before we get to the word today, I would like to take a moment to share that I feel truly blessed to be with you all in the parish.  I am excited for the chance to get to know you and to have the opportunities to grow and live in that joy of being with Christ together.  I would like to share a bit about me and how I have come to be serving at St Luke’s.  I am not sure if you are aware of the mystical process of becoming a priest - just kidding not mystical but there are some ambiguities and moments of prayers for clarity needed.

I will not read my whole spiritual autobiography fast forwarding quite a bit from “ I was raised a country boy in Durham…”  My discernment journey began years before I willingly stepped fully into the conversation with God.  I had become quite proficient of stacking all the reasons why I was not worthy or interpreting God’s call as something else.  My spiritual journey continued to enrich my life journey.  God reveal Himself in many moments. He continued to prepare me and reveal his eagerness for me to follow.  As I grew in the Spirit and the involvement of parish leadership, I followed God’s call to move parishes and be led to Trinity Portland. 

I know that God worked through many in supporting me and encouraging growth from new friends in the parish.  God is so relational and links us through the Holy Spirit. As I began again to hear God calling me to ordained ministry as a priest, louder this time, I became open to ‘discuss’ a discernment journey. My heart was open to listen and I thought, “surely being a deacon is enough for you, God?” You see, God opened the door with the thought I might step into a deacon role but he had a plan to make clear for me to follow his call for priesthood.  Although I love the hymn, “Here I Am Lord,” I was not ready to respond as profoundly as Isaiah, “Here I am, Send me.”

I reached out to our deacon at the time, The Reverend Jessie Karpf to ask questions and begin meeting. She suggested praying, journaling, and reading.  I then started the discernment process through ECCT where I was placed in a cohort of others contemplating vocations.  Formation is relational.  They walked with me to listen to and give spiritual guidance.  I went through the stages of aspirant and now I am a postulant. I recently began seminary at General Theological Seminary in NYC to pursue a Master of Divinity.  I feel called to be bi-vocational with ministry and work as a partner in my architectural firm.  Through seminary and my field placement here I will be focusing on learning all that is need for mastering competencies put forth by the Episcopal Church.

I know God is not calling me because I am the most equipped to ‘do all,’ but to come into a closer relationship and listen.  I am learning and will continue to grow walking with you.  As in second Timothy, we are called to continue in what we have learned and firmly believe in “ knowing the sacred writings that are able to instruct you for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training and righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work.”  Second Timothy reminds us that through God we will be equipped.  We need to continue to look to and study the inspired scripture.  We are called to be persistent.  And in the reading, we are told there are going to be times that are favorable and unfavorable.  Life is going to be tough proclaiming the Good News.  Be persistent.

In the Gospel of Luke, we are shown the persistence of the widow.  The parable story tells of a judge that “neither feared God nor had respect for people” who has a widow that kept pestering him.  She asking that he grant her justice in her dispute. The judge who, remember had No Fear for God and obviously no compassion for humankind, had no interest in listening or searching to see to give her justice. He was more concerned about not being worn out and simply granted her justice. Luke points to the unjust judge and illustrating how God listens to our cries day and night, God listens to us. God will not delay in helping us. 

Luke goes on to say “I tell you, he will quickly grant justice to them.”  This statement was a challenge for me. Sometimes I feel that God doesn't grant justice quickly. But I will put this aside that God's time and our time are often not the same. And the final question for the disciples is this “when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?  There are times that I feel my faith is strong and carries me through. Sometimes my faith is challenged.

The parable also made me question the importance of Jesus story mentioning the judge did not fear God. Do we fear God? Is there healthy fear?  The widow showed us the persistence that was also lifted in second Timothy.  The parable also demonstrates injustice and how the lowly widow, who would not be looked upon with esteem during her time, was disregarded.  It was easy for the unjust judge to desire not to listen to the voice of the disinherited.  We are called to reflect on the widowers of our time. 

Reading and preparing for today’s sermon was during a tough week for me.   I am going to tell you – one of my fatal flaws is reaching balance in life.  I am working on that one and will continue.  My heart draws me to do more than is possible …and my Trinity friends might tell you – kindlier than I would say to myself, that it is my love that I continue to struggle.  I say to myself “you think I would have learned that one by now.”  But the balance I am striving to come to is how I can be a full-time seminarian studying and serving here and being a full-time architect.  And where to fit in father, spouse, and that little thing I am learning more about…self-care.   I read the words of the gospel many times this week…the answer to the parable and missed it.  I did not pray always; I did not pray lifting these up to God.  And I did honestly start to lose heart greatly.  I looked at things through my eyes only.  I was not persistent.  I did not reach out to my friends of support linked to me in the Spirit.  I was caught up in my anxiety and fear.

Friends yesterday was an amazing joyful time for our church.  The consecration of Bishop Jeffery Mello.   I was volunteered at the consecration as my mind was swimming with anxiety of how much I needed to be doing studying.  As The Rev. Canon Meaghan Brower began to preached with such energy and excitement I could feel the Holy Spirit pulling at me.  During her sermon she reminded us we have Jesus in these challenging times.  Jesus who says “do not be afraid, do not be afraid, My love is stronger than your fear.  Jesus who says “ I now call you friends, abide in my love”. Jesus who says “I have come so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete.”  Oh she went on my friends to speak amazingly of joy as a needed practice.  How it needs to be cultivated, intentional and perhaps we need to make Spiritual practice of JOY a part of who we are.  I won’t talk anymore from her sermon – please go on YouTube and listen to her preach.  You my friends, will be inspired.  I share that portion of her sermon, for she spoke to my heart.  I instantly thought of the words of Luke in today’s gospel that He gives us the answer at the beginning…He simplified this starting with ….okay guys…here is what you should be getting out of the parable he gave to his disciple.  The parable is “about their need to pray always and not to lose heart”.  “pray always and not lose heart…..That is what I had been missing “doing” or putting into action all this week. And I have to say I studied our readings multiple times.  Opening myself to the Spirit knowing that in time, at the right time, she would bring meaning to share with you.  Jesus is calling us to have persistence and resilience even if in difficult times. faith and the connection to the power of the spirit of God creates that inner strength to fuel us to endure.

Let me make a commitment …as I am learning about covenants as in our reading in Jeremiah…I will make it a bit more basic, a commitment to you…. and I ask you to pray about taking on the commitment to me as well.  I commit to be in relationship with you, to pray for you, to walk with you through challenges and joys as we journey together.  I am looking forward to the surprises and joys that the Holy Spirit will bring to us as we walk together as I discern, study, learn, serve, and share God’s love.

Let us pray

Lord, we pray to keep our hearts and minds aligned to your will.  Let us be mindful of hearing those in need of justice.  May we hear the call of those in need and respond with our whole heart.  Help us to be pray always and not lose heart.  To lean into you, God and allow that Joy to be present and shared.  Let us cultivate the Spiritual practice of JOY.    Amen